Life has a way of becoming tough and relentless at times. It's inevitable. Many people choose to wallow in their sadness, instead of finding a way to pull themselves out of it. It's expected that you will have some days where you are unable to find the light at the end of the tunnel, and that is normal. However, in order to move from a victim mentality to a victor mentality, you're going to need to have some things in your toolbox to keep you strong.
A large part of what I do is providing real actionable items for people, so all of these things you can do today within 30 minutes at most. Here are three things I use to boost my self-confidence and push through the struggle.
1. Say Your Affirmations
Reciting affirmations is one of the most powerful tools I've used in my everyday life. I learned about it from a public speaker who spoke to my college group a few years back, but only put it into play recently. I can tell you from experience that it has made a difference, especially in tough times.
Affirmations help you to hone in on the positive, favorable traits and qualities that define yourself and your life. It forces you to focus on what matters, and distracts you from what is going wrong. When I wake up in the morning, the first thing I do is affirmations of gratitude. During the day I do affirmations of energy, power, and self-control. During hard times I use affirmations of focus, strength, and endurance.
"I am strong. I am focused. I can get through this."
"I am more than a conqueror. Nothing can stop me. I am bigger and better than this."
"This is just a test. All I have to do is make it through. I can do this"
Once you've affirmed yourself in the mirror, it's pretty difficult to feel down on yourself. Nevertheless, affirmations aren't the only thing you can do. Your memory is another tool that can keep you encouraged.
2. Remember What You've Accomplished
Keeping track of what you've accomplished is not conceited, it's genius. Sometimes we set large goals and don't get to milestones in the time we think we should. While we feel discouraged, we can perform a simple exercise to remind us just how powerful we are.
Write down 10 things you've done within the past 5 years of your life that you are proud of and write down how long it took you to accomplish these things.
I guarantee you when you get to the end of the list and realize how long great things take, you will be much more patient with your current path. Use memory to ground you to reality, because if you can get through that you can get through anything. Once you've seen how great you can be, you'll be more than ready to try my next technique.
3. Practice Something You're Good At
Self-confidence is one part experience and one part self-thought. With that in mind, your actions need to reinforce your affirmations. Maybe you are really great at running long distance, or reading poetry at an open mic, or writing blogs. Take some time away from challenges to provide the comfort of being good at something. Remind yourself constantly that even though you are working on some skills, you still have the talent to do many things with little effort.
Maybe that talent is based on years of hard work. This should stand as another remind that you are greater than you think you are, and that if you keep at what you're working on you can do anything you put your mind to.
Don't start with these things tomorrow or a week from now - start today. Even if you are feeling great at this moment, things could get tough for you at any time. It's best to build the habit when you don't need it, so that you go on autopilot in times of struggle.
Remember you are powerful, amazing, strong, and one-of-a-kind. Stay encouraged and don't forget to like, share, and subscribe!
Gabriella Payne is an international motivational speaker, confidence expert, and team building consultant. She works to build confidence in millennial women by transforming their mental thought patterns and teaching new, healthier habits. She is also an advocate for the prevention of domestic abuse and teaches a series called "See It Coming".